The War Of Head Versus Heart
by Newgirlystuff
Summary: After all, Nick always knew he was going to marry her.


**Written for ness-new-girl on Tumblr's New Girl Secret Santa.**

 **Set starting in season 3 going up to what I expect to happen in season 7.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Nick always knew it was going to happen.

Or at least he always _hoped_ it would happen.

He'd dreamed about it more times than he cared to remember.

The first time he dreamed about it was the night before he made up his mind and sneaked out of the loft in search of The Perfect Ring.

Paradise Nick and Paradise Jess had been gone for only a week the day Nick found The Perfect Ring.

He knew it was way too soon to even think about proposing.

He knew he shouldn't be spending money he probably couldn't afford to spend.

But the _rational_ voice in his head wasn't loud enough to silence the _Jess-is-The-One_ voice in his heart, and by the time he walked out of the jewellery store - the small, simple diamond ring with their initials engraved on it carefully placed inside a velvet box - he was _completely_ sure he'd made the right choice.

They broke up a year later.

* * *

Yet Nick kept dreaming about it still. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how further back in his bedside drawer he kept pushing the velvet box, the dreams still came to him almost every night. They were always different, yet they were always the same.

There had been other people.

Jess had seemed happy with other people, and the rational voice in his head seemed to mock him for that every time his hand bumped against the velvet box.

 _You should get rid of it_ , his mind screamed at him as he watched Cece and Schmidt get engaged. _That ship has sailed for you._

 _Clean Break_ , Jess had called it, dropping their sex mug and their memories together into the trash can while he pretended to agree with her.

So he'd tried to get rid of it - _sell it, trade it, whatever_ \- _just get rid of it_. He'd tried to listen to the _rational_ voice in his head and he'd really, really tried to go through with it. But the _Jess-is-The-One_ voice in his heart just wouldn't stop gnawing at his insides.

So he'd kept it.

He'd kept it when Jess told him she had to go on jury duty- struggling to sleep every night knowing she was happily away from him while the ring seemed to mock him from its hiding place.

He'd kept it two weeks later, when Schmidt _accidentally_ stumbled upon it while rummaging through his drawer looking for an emergency condom- ignoring the looks his best friend kept casting in his direction every time the name Jess came up.

He'd kept it when Reagan moved in, and when she'd moved out.

He'd kept it when he followed her to New Orleans, and when he'd surprised Jess by coming back earlier.

 _You should get rid of it, out of respect for Reagan_ became his head's new mantra.

His own mind seemed to mock him- _You're in love with Reagan, why should you keep it?_

 _Get rid of it_ , the _rational_ voice in his head screamed at him.

So he tried- again. The velvet box felt weird in his hand, over two years after he'd last held it in his hand. But Jess was dating Robby and he was _in love with Reagan, so why should I keep it anymore?_

But it was then when the _Reagan's-not-The-One_ voice in his heart - a voice he'd tried to quiet down for way too long- angrily pushed the box to the back of his drawer, slamming it closed and filling his heart with doubts.

Jess left for Portland a week later, and his calls didn't reach her.

He tried to call her over and over again, but her voicemail prevented him from talking to her.

He wondered if she was avoiding him, if she was angry at him, if she was slowly fading from his life.

But he'd kept the ring.

He'd kept it two weeks later, when the _rational_ voice his head finally agreed with the _Reagan's-not-The-One_ voice in his heart. He'd broken up with her, watching as she packed up her things and left him in his room, alone with his warring heart and brain.

He'd kept it while Jess was away from him in Portland, even though his calls still didn't reach her.

He'd kept it when his head and heart finally agreed on the one thing Nick had known all along: Jess was The One.

* * *

The second first time Nick made love to Jess, after he'd swept her off her feet in the elevator and carried her to his bed, and as she slept contentedly in his arms, he reached for the box, a grin splitting his face at the sight of it.

When he puts it back carefully, he doesn't push it to the back of the drawer.

He lies back down on the bed and smiles as she immediately curls up into him and sighs in her sleep, his arm around her waist pressing her close to him.

Nick feels like he can finally breathe again.

* * *

The _Jess-is-The-One_ voice in his heart tells him to propose two months later.

The _rational voice_ in his head agrees.

* * *

 _After all, Nick always knew he was going to marry her._


End file.
